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Jul 26, 2024
Hundreds of Americans are impacted by sexual violence every day. Sadly, it is estimated that every 68 seconds, an American is sexually assaulted. Furthermore, one out every six U.S. women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime. And one in every 10 rape victims are male.
Sexual assault is a harrowing and traumatic experience that can have long-lasting effects on survivors. Sexual violence can impact anyone from anywhere at any time – and given the alarming statistics, it’s more likely than not that even if you haven’t been the victim of sexual assault, you know and care about someone who has. The journey to healing and recovery is often challenging, but with proper support and resources, survivors can find hope and strength.
Dordulian Law Group’s Los Angeles sexual assault lawyers have put together this comprehensive blog post which explores effective ways that you can provide support for a sexual assault survivor you care about. In the sections below, we will review the complexities of sexual violence trauma and offer guidance for both survivors and their loved ones.
Sexual assault can have profound and lasting impacts on a survivor’s mental health and overall well-being. It’s important to recognize that these effects can persist long after the initial trauma, often manifesting in different ways:
In a report from the University of Washington’s Medical School which examined effective strategies for supporting sexual assault victims, a survivor shared:
“I’d say I’m grieving myself because I’ve lost me. I mean, it was that was taken from me. And I don’t really like who I am right now.”
This sentiment highlights the deep-rooted impact of sexual assault on a person’s sense of self. But it also places emphasis on how important support from friends and family can be. It’s vital to understand that healing is not linear, and there’s no set timeline for recovery. But as a loved one of a survivor, your support can be invaluable to this process. Conversely, providing the wrong kind of support can be traumatic and triggering for the survivor.
Comments like “Aren’t you over it yet?” or “You need to move on” can be incredibly harmful and invalidating to a survivor’s experience.
Providing support to sexual assault survivors requires patience, understanding, and a commitment to creating a safe space. Here are some effective ways you can offer support:
Survivors often express the need to feel safe above all else. As one survivor mentioned during an interview for the University of Washington’s study, “I really needed to just feel safe and yeah, that understanding that creating a safe space for a person would be the best thing you could possibly do.”
Listen without judgment and validate the survivor’s feelings. One survivor noted to University of Washington Medical School professionals, “I felt the most supported when people seemed to want to really understand what I’d been through and weren’t afraid to ask me to tell them about it.”
Recovery is a long-term process. Regular check-ins can make a significant difference. As one survivor shared for the UW sexual violence support study, “Some friends call just to say, ‘How are you doing? I’m thinking about you.’ And that makes you feel like you still exist.”
Allow the survivor to set the pace for their healing journey. Don’t pressure them to talk about their experience if they’re not ready.
Coping with sexual trauma is a deeply personal process, but there are various resources and strategies that can aid in recovery:
Specialized counseling can be instrumental in the healing process. As one survivor stated to the UW’s Medical School team during for their study:
“Counseling through Harborview is a lifesaver. And just having someone to talk with that has heard these things before and can give you reassurance that what you’re thinking and feeling are normal and they’re real.”
Connecting with other survivors can provide a sense of community and understanding. Many find comfort in sharing experiences with those who have gone through similar traumas.
Engaging in self-care activities – such as exercise, meditation, or creative pursuits – can help manage stress and promote healing.
When supporting a sexual assault survivor, it’s crucial to be mindful of your words and actions. Here are some important do’s and don’ts to keep in mind:
Do:
Believe the survivor unconditionally
Offer to be available whenever they need support
Respect their decisions and choices
Educate yourself about sexual assault and its impacts
Don’t:
Question or doubt their story
Pressure them to report or take specific actions
Make judgmental comments about their behavior or choices
Expect them to “get over it” quickly
There are numerous resources available to support survivors in their healing journey:
It’s important to remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. As University of Washington expert noted, “I think it’s really important for survivors to know that there is effective help out there for those things and they don’t have to suffer for their whole life.”
Trauma-informed care is an approach that recognizes the widespread impact of trauma and understands potential paths for recovery. This approach emphasizes:
For friends and family of survivors, adopting a trauma-informed approach means being patient, understanding, and supportive throughout the healing process.
In the aforementioned academic study, Emily Dworkin, a Senior Fellow at the University of Washington’s Medical School, noted how critical support from loved ones can be for survivors in their recovery.
“It’s really tough to see people that we love struggling. And at the same time, one of the most important things that we can do as their loved ones is to bear witness to that pain that they’re experiencing and not try to distract them or not try to just take their mind off it, but really sit with them and be a shoulder to cry on,” Dworkin said.
Research consistently shows that social support is a crucial factor in recovery from sexual assault. As Senior Fellow Dworkin added, “In terms of what the research says, we know that sort of generally being a social support to people is important. It’s one of the strongest correlates of PTSD. The more social support you have, the less severe your PTSD symptoms and vice versa.”
However, it’s important to remember that not all support is helpful. Survivors should feel empowered to choose who they confide in and lean on for support. As Dworkin noted, “I think it’s important to have a sense of, you know, have these people be trusted people that you can trust with responding well, because I think it can really compound stress when people respond poorly.”
While the impact of sexual assault can be profound and long-lasting, it’s important to remember that taking back control and moving forward through healing is possible. With the right support, resources, and care, survivors can reclaim their lives and find strength in their journey.
As one survivor powerfully stated to UW’s Medical school team:
“I’m really strong I am going to not let it ruin my life, but it has affected my life and it has completely changed who I am.”
This sentiment captures both the challenges and the resiliency inherent to many survivors’ experiences.
Remember, every survivor’s journey is unique. There’s no “right” way to heal, and it’s okay to take the time needed to process and recover. The most important thing is to be patient with yourself or your loved one, and to seek help when needed.
Start by believing them and saying something like, "I believe you" or "It's not your fault." Offer support by saying, "I'm here for you" or "How can I help?" Avoid judgmental questions or statements that might blame the survivor.
Listen without judgment, offer support, and respect their decisions. You can also help by providing information about resources, accompanying them to appointments if they ask, and continuing to check in on them over time.
Yes, it's quite common for survivors of sexual assault to experience symptoms of PTSD. These can include flashbacks, nightmares, severe anxiety, and uncontrollable thoughts about the event. If these symptoms persist, it's important to seek professional help.
Yes, sexual assault can impact a survivor's ability to form and maintain relationships. Surviving sexual trauma often affects trust, intimacy, and communication. However, with support and potentially therapy, many survivors are able to build healthy relationships.
Dordulian Law Group (D Law Group) is a survivor-centric firm offering all-encompassing expert legal representation that includes added resources for our clients. After serving as a sex crimes prosecutor in the Los Angeles District Attorney’s Office, our founder and president, Sam Dordulian, created D Law Group to be a unique type of firm dedicated to believing, supporting, and fighting tirelessly on behalf of survivors of sexual assault, rape, sexual harassment, and all forms of sexual violence.
D Law Group’s SAJE Team is part of Mr. Dordulian’s comprehensive approach to getting justice for survivors. With a four-tiered network of sex crimes professionals, D Law Group’s SAJE Team is your 24/7 support network throughout every step of the legal process:
D Law Group’s SAJE Team provides invaluable resources for you and your family as we work aggressively to secure justice for your sexual assault case.
If you experienced a sexual assault incident, don’t wait to file a claim. Contact our expert attorneys online or by phone for a free consultation today.
When you’re ready to take the first step towards getting the justice you deserve, contact a member of the D Law Group SAJE Team for a free and confidential Los Angele sexual assault lawyer consultation by calling 866-GO-SEE-SAM.
Sam Dordulian is an award-winning sexual abuse lawyer with over 25 years' experience helping survivors secure justice. As a former sex crimes prosecutor and Deputy District Attorney for L.A. County, he secured life sentences against countless sexual predators. Mr. Dordulian currently serves on the National Leadership Council for RAINN.
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